I really need some advice on my situation. It’s tough for me, and my head is spinning from thinking about it every single minute.
I’ve been raising my son alone since he was 5. He’s 22 now, and his girlfriend, Mia, started staying here full-time. At first, I tried to be fair. But bills were rising, and I felt like a hotel manager.
I told him, “If she’s going to live here, she needs to pay something.” He looked at me strangely. Then he quietly said, “No, Mom… Didn’t she tell you that she is pregnant? So, it’s you who needs to figure things out.”
Everything froze inside me. Mia had been hiding the pregnancy. I was furious and shocked at the same time. I told my son I couldn’t believe he didn’t say anything sooner and that it was unfair to put this all on me.
I asked him if he planned on helping with the financial burden, too, considering he was already an adult. He got defensive and said I was being unreasonable and that I should be supportive, as he needs to prepare for his new role.
I ended up giving them an ultimatum: either Mia contributes or she needs to move out. My son got upset and said I was making things harder for him, but I stuck to my decision. He asked for some time so they could decide what to do, and it feels like I’m a villain now. Should I have approached this more gently?
Irene W.
Hello, Irene,
We believe that you don’t need to soften your decision—it was fair. You’re not wrong to ask for financial contribution when two extra adults are living under your roof. And pregnancy doesn’t make both of them incapable of earning money or contributing in some other way.
In our opinion, what you can do now is remove vagueness, set expectations, and make your son responsible for contributing or finding another living arrangement. And here are our suggestions.
